Harvey

What is it like
to spread your wings and fly?
I often wonder as I see you in flight
against the azure skies.
Then I look into your eyes
Harvey,
you set my soul on fire.
As I watch you fly
my thoughts go with thee,
Oh Harvey.
When you're on my arm
the world can't ever harm
me, Harvey.
You're so beautiful
with your bright red plumes;
I just can't get enough of you.
You're the one for me
you're all I'll ever need
and I'll have your loyalty
as long as I feed
you Harvey.


Yes, this is totally about a bird from my beloved show, the one that I wrote about back in....October? Harvey is my boyfriend; all the trainers know this and they are ok with it. I wrote out a copy of this poem for the trainers and they have it posted on their mini fridge. And yes, I totally read it to my boo and he seemed to like it.

Your Eyes

The blue skies
have nothing on your eyes.
I wish I had realized
that, to myself, I lied
when I said "Just one night".

Now every night
awake I lie
and see your eyes.
But I won't cry,
no, I can't cry
because the memory of that night
lingers in my mind
and I can't help but smile.

Dream poem

I dreamed about him last night;
It's been so long since the last time.

I called his name and ran
I couldn't face that man.

Despite the reality:
despite that he's married
despite that we went our separate ways
he quickened his pace.

My running feet
turned into the monastery.
The gravel crunched
as walls crumbled
and I hoped to navigate
this stoney garden
and circumvent this fate.

There was no telling when
he stopped his pursuit
or if my plan had borne fruit.
I stopped and peered around a corner.
There he stood, as if waiting for me.

The alarm chimed
and brought me back to modern time.

The Wasted Land

*Note- It helps if you've read T.S. Eliot's "The Waste Land"


Every Saturday the same people
walk into the same bar.
Same fucking people,
week after week; and I among them.
Wasting time.
Wasting life.
Wasting money.
I swear the same songs are played
week in, week out.
Why do they do this?
Why do I do this?
Wasted opportunity.
I regret every decision that led me to this wasted land.
Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Blood is like wine.
Couples.  Count them.
One, two, three.
How long have they been together?
Love. Lust. Whatever. Everyone's favorite damn disease.
Do you know who I am? Sitting across the room.
I'm the girl in the hat and trenchcoat.
So vintage.
Come to me lover, buy me a drink.
Get me wasted. I'm in this wasted land; might as well join in.
I don't have a million dollars to spend.

I see her across the bar.
If she's one of them, she's cute.
Blonde, tattooed. Like you.
My virgin skin, no stories on the surface.
Her stories, skin deep. Like yours.
Competition is a waste.
Of time.
Of money.
Of energy.

The music keeps this place as silent as a concert.
No chatter drifting to the farthest corner where I sit.
Dead place.
Why do I keep coming?
Look the part of the french writer, sitting, making believe she is Eliot.
Eliot wasn't French.

Oh fuck off and play along.

Yeah fat bitch, I'm skinny, young and better looking.
And you have a man.
Ce la vie.
I'll take my independence and run.
Lo que paso, paso entre tu y yo.
She doesn't need to know.
So glad you don't kiss and tell and I don't know her.
Works out nicely.

Sinking deeper in the muck and grime and shit of every day living.
Pour me another, Lover.
Help me get wasted. FTW.

God this music is at least ten years old.
"Off the chain"
There's something you don't hear anymore. Middle school.

What shitty years.
Sitting alone at lunch.....Fuck, don't point out the irony.

And there they all sit
like nighthawks living out their individual little lives.
Lovers will be loved.
Friends will gossip.
The lonely will always try and look preoccupied with a life that occurs
anywhere but here.

A small crowd begins to form around the bar.
Two and a half hours till last call.
How many drown their wasted lives at the bottom of a Bud Light?

Pinky swear? Pinky swear.
She's deep in the wasted land.
I can tell as she twirls herself around in her bar stool.

Slash's guitar solo in "Sweet Child of Mine" sounds like sexual ecstasy.
Those few minutes before orgasm.
Oh Lover. If only I didn't work tomorrow morning.
If only she wasn't here.
I want you in my bed.
I want you inside me.
And  just as suddenly, the moment passes and I'm left in the Wasted Land.

I wanna be your lover.
So appropo.

Close me out.
Get me out of this Wasted Land.
I can't stand this noise much longer.
The looks.
They look at me like I don't belong.
Please don't look at me.
No, look at me. Make me feel like I exist.
Have I wasted away here?

When the lights out, it's less dangerous.
Turn out the lights!
Go to bed!
Leave the Wasted Land.
Until next week.

Corner Bar

If I had to guess
as to your whereabouts
on any given Saturday night,
well, knowing you as I do
I'd say you were at that old corner bar.

No, I can't say you're a drunk,
who needs a fix of whiskey and Guinness
although honey I've had my doubts.
But on any given night
I would bet my life you're crooning
at that old corner bar.

I remember the first time I heard you sing
coulda sworn my heart would melt
as you sung our story through Mrs. Jones,
and on any given Saturday, it's Sinatra or Queen.
Songs of love but never for me
at that old corner bar.

It all started as a harmless fling
and I didn't mind what I'd been dealt,
even though my friends didn't condone
I really like being your arm candy.
You were the king of kareoke
at that old corner bar.

Weekend after weekend we'd spend
lying in each others arms
and lying to the world about us.
But you kissed me one day
and the secret was out.

I thought your mystery would end
I'd no longer be a card
and this would be more than lust.
I was wrong, it ended in May.
All of my dreams never came about.

I went back one last time
to that old corner bar
hoping to see you one last time.
You pulled me close and kissed me
"Goodbye" at that old corner bar.

I'm a thousand miles
from that old corner bar.
I'm doing just fine
and I've found a new corner bar.
There's just one thing it needs.

In other words...

Because of you I'm acting a fool,
a fool I thought I no longer was,
a fool I thought had died because I was...
older.

Because of you I want to listen to
old romantic songs by Sinatra,
and Armstrong's
"What a Wonderful World".
I want to listen to slow, sentimental songs
not because I'm sad but because I know I'm...
dreaming.

Because of you I'm writing this blog --
far more poetic than my recent posts.
I was actually thinking of what to say
but I know I can't because...

In other words...
You'll never know.
You can't know.
The other night never happened.
It doesn't count.

In other words...
I'm confused.
Time is running out.
What do I want?

In other words...
Double life
Lies
Heartbreak
I won't
I can't
................................................................
"Fill my heart with song"

Veterans' Day poem

How can I express
all the gratitude I feel
for those who are selfless
and willing to fight for me?

A simple thank you will not suffice
so let me take this time to devise
a few simple lines for those who serve.

I know a few of you by name,
others I will never know, yet you deserve
as much love and acclaim.

I am forever in your debt
and as I hold back my tears of fierce pride
let us never forget
all you have sacrificed to provide
FREEDOM.

I Won't Say It

Back in November, when I was in the middle of a huge writing dry spell, I decided that I was going to force myself to write something. I don't really like this poem too much because I don't think it's some of my best work. There's not a lot to explain about it. So without further ado...
November 22, 2010
I Won’t Say It
For you I would dedicate all the songs
About starting up a new love
But I don’t want to tell you just yet how I feel.
You make me smile again
You make me laugh again.
I’ve got that feeling again.
Even though I’m writing a song
I don’t want you to think of
Some crazy notion of sentimentality.
I think I’m falling for you.
There’s not use hiding.
But I’m not ready to admit
I’ve got it bad for you.

The Harvest Moon

This is a poem for someone whom I care about very much. He wrote one for me and now this is mine for him. It was inspired by a conversation that we had while I was on my way home for Thanksgiving. I haven't been able to write for a long time- not since I wrote a few sad poems about my ex- so I'm a little rusty. I love you Sam. You've helped me through a very difficult time in my life and I just want to let you know how much you mean to me.

Why can’t I see the harvest moon
In my lover’s eyes?
Why must I be in my room
All alone tonight?
Does he know how I feel?
Oh how it burns!
I want him to be here
Where I await his return.
In my room
all alone I wait patiently
By the light of moon
Watching dreamily
Waiting for you.
Tonight under the harvest moon
Our love shall consume
All doubt from my soul
Because you would have told
Me all I ever needed to hear.
I no longer have fears,
And as I near the lake
I feel my insides quake
When I see you standing waiting, smiling.
Suddenly I feel you holding
Me close saying ‘I love you”
I whisper ‘I love you too’.
And in your eyes I see the harvest moon.

Take a look inside my soul...

This is what I asked for.
Then why does it hurt so
e'ry time I see photos?
Damn, why'd I let you go?
We haven't been apart long
I'm already writing songs
I know it's entirely wrong
but tonight I will be strong.
I can't give in to temptation
even though I miss sensations
of loving hearts' palpitations
when you looked in my direction.
I wish you were here tonight
and I wish with all my might
that I could have the foresight
to pick better times to fight.
I hate that you're away.
There ain't a thing to say.
I knew this back in May
that this would be the way.

If I wanted to be with you
I would have a lot to endure.
More than I thought I ever could.
More than I thought I ever would.

I tried but my strength gave out.
Never have I had so much doubt
sadly I have lost the route
and I had to stand and shout
I can't do this anymore!
This pain hurts me to the core
I can't take this anymore.
And so I walked out the door.

I don't know if I'll come back
my mind's been thrown outta whack.
I think I need to stand back
and see what it is I lack.
Please know I love you
you're my dream come true;
this I gotta do
for me and for you.
Come June we will know
where our love will go
and our lives will show
we loved each other.

This is what goes on in my brain!

The air burns my skin
The water hurts my eyes
The earth scrapes my soles
The fire consumes me

My mind sees all
My mind can hear you
My mind reaches for you
My mind controls the world

You can set me free
You can kiss me
You can walk away
You can kill me

We can change the world
We should run away
We would do that
We can't be

----------
Please do not ask me what this is about, I honestly have no idea.
I can tell you that I was thinking about the song "The End" by The Doors, a song that was also used in the movie Apocalypse Now. Other than that...it's up to you. Actually, crap, I shouldn't have said that. It takes away the mystery and allure of the work. Damnit. Oh well. Hope you enjoyed it. Please, if you ever use this poem, quote it, reference it, or anything of that nature please please please give me credit! Thank you

No Distance is too Great

As those of you who follow my blog might know, I want to be a writer. So, I'm posting a poem I wrote a few months ago. Please don't expect Whitman or Dickenson but feel free to comment constructive critisism like "This line needs a different word here". If you write something mean like "This poem sucks" that's not helpful to me.
Anyways, hope you enjoy it.

I rarely see the smile in your eyes
and I can count on my hands
How many times we haven’t been apart.
Somehow a bond has been formed,
A long lasting love sown
And you and I are so close.
No matter how many miles between,
No matter how long it’s been
Since the last time I’ve seen your face
Our love still binds our hearts.
No distance is too great
And only serves to make
Each meeting so grand.