Corner Bar

If I had to guess
as to your whereabouts
on any given Saturday night,
well, knowing you as I do
I'd say you were at that old corner bar.

No, I can't say you're a drunk,
who needs a fix of whiskey and Guinness
although honey I've had my doubts.
But on any given night
I would bet my life you're crooning
at that old corner bar.

I remember the first time I heard you sing
coulda sworn my heart would melt
as you sung our story through Mrs. Jones,
and on any given Saturday, it's Sinatra or Queen.
Songs of love but never for me
at that old corner bar.

It all started as a harmless fling
and I didn't mind what I'd been dealt,
even though my friends didn't condone
I really like being your arm candy.
You were the king of kareoke
at that old corner bar.

Weekend after weekend we'd spend
lying in each others arms
and lying to the world about us.
But you kissed me one day
and the secret was out.

I thought your mystery would end
I'd no longer be a card
and this would be more than lust.
I was wrong, it ended in May.
All of my dreams never came about.

I went back one last time
to that old corner bar
hoping to see you one last time.
You pulled me close and kissed me
"Goodbye" at that old corner bar.

I'm a thousand miles
from that old corner bar.
I'm doing just fine
and I've found a new corner bar.
There's just one thing it needs.

Song list- current

For some reason, I'm finding myself attracted to these songs right now. I'm not particularly a big fan of a couple of these artists, but there is something about these songs that I like. 

Adele- Someone Like You
The Beatles- The Night Before
Billy Paul- Me and Mrs. Jones
Beyonce- Best Thing I Never Had
Britney Spears- Shadow
Frank Sinatra- Strangers in the Night
Katy Perry- The One That Got Away
Legally Blonde OST- Ireland
Queen- Somebody To Love
Rihanna- We Found Love


 This brief moment was all we'll ever have. This is impossible, but it happened in a hopeless place therefore all we have are shadows

Thank you to MadDogBV for editing this picture for me.

The Chasm

Before me stood a great chasm. As I contemplated how to cross it, a witch appeared right before my eyes and handed me a potion.
"Drink this and you'll get across."
Seeing no reason not to distrust the witch, I uncorked it and drank. I felt a sharp pain, first in my head, then down my body. I imagined this is what a dry, parched earth must feel when it starts to crack. Then I feel myself being lifted high above the ground and across.
When my vision finally clears and all the pain is gone I look down and see one half of me on one side of the chasm- this side is very successful. I'm talking to people and designing. I could sense that this side was very happy with the way Life had worked itself out so wonderfully in my favor. The skies were clear here.
But on the other side, I saw something very different. This other side of the chasm had dark clouds looming overhead. The fog was so think I could hardly find where my other half was. Finally, I spotted it standing in the center of a group of men. Again, I was laughing and talking to them, but there was something not happy.
I finally stop and take a look at myself and my surroundings. I'm standing on a street corner, close to a lamppost, with a trenchcoat on- very 1940's film noir stuff. All that was missing was the swirling fog, cigarette and pulled down fedora. Who was I waiting for? Then from the light side of the chasm, building a bridge with every step he took, approached a man. He stopped in front of me, and I noticed that he was leading the successful side of me by the hand and then beckoned the other half to him. As my two sides watched on, I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. He brought me success, yet brought my downfall. I started developing romantic feelings towards him; he only wanted me for his entertainment. He was tearing me in two; in my professional life, I have to keep calm and do what I have to do. As soon as I get home, I break down and have no desire to do anything.
When I finally pull back from the kiss, I push him aside and run across the bridge. I don't know where that bridge will lead me, but I know that I have to get away from him. He has too much of me already, I need to escape with whatever I can salvage. Including what's left of my heart.

In other words...

Because of you I'm acting a fool,
a fool I thought I no longer was,
a fool I thought had died because I was...
older.

Because of you I want to listen to
old romantic songs by Sinatra,
and Armstrong's
"What a Wonderful World".
I want to listen to slow, sentimental songs
not because I'm sad but because I know I'm...
dreaming.

Because of you I'm writing this blog --
far more poetic than my recent posts.
I was actually thinking of what to say
but I know I can't because...

In other words...
You'll never know.
You can't know.
The other night never happened.
It doesn't count.

In other words...
I'm confused.
Time is running out.
What do I want?

In other words...
Double life
Lies
Heartbreak
I won't
I can't
................................................................
"Fill my heart with song"