Good Enough

Soundtrack- Good Enough by Evanescence
This time last year, I was writing about losing the love of my life. I wondered if I'd ever be able to find someone, forgive myself for the horrible mistakes I'd made and allow myself to be happy again.
I was able to find someone, but that didn't mean that I allowed myself to be happy or that I'd forgiven myself.
I talked to John* a few times since we broke up and the last time we talked, he'd told me that he'd finally forgiven me and that allowed me to start forgiving myself.
But that didn't mean that I still had come to grips with the possibility that I could be happy, that I didn't have to be alone for the rest of my life to atone for my mistakes. I couldn't shake the feeling that this peace, this calm, simple and normal relationship was not permanent-- that it was only the proverbial calm before the storm and that I was going to pay dearly for these months of bliss.
I have finally accepted that I can indeed be happy. I'm finally allowing myself to be happy and I don't dread something awful happening at the start of every day. It's not a complete transformation yet, but it's getting there.

Hey Baby they're playing our song

I've recently started dating someone new. That's not to say that I'm completely over my ex. He knows that, and he's ok with it. He's so good to me and, I'm not going to lie, I really like having someone I can see everyday. I thought I couldn't be in a relationship with someone so close because they'd drive me crazy. I'm glad to know and admit I was wrong! This song list is in no way reflective of his musical tastes. As the relationship grows and progresses, I'm sure I'll be adding songs.

*Way Back Into Love- Music and Lyrics
I needed to find a way back into love. I have been hurt, hurt someone, and thought that I wouldn't find anyone any time soon. He's willing to help me make that transition.
*Mine- Taylor Swift
There's a line in there about "I remember we were sitting there by the water". We were sitting by the water when he first put his arm around me. We've come a long way since then.
*Crazier- Taylor Swift
I know I have two Taylor Swift songs. He drives me crazy but in the good way! I get the feelings this song talks about, the tone is the melody in my heart when he's around.
*Underneath Your Clothes- Shakira
I'm running out of reasons to cry. You are exactly what I need at this time; you are so good to me and I care about you as you are, who you are.
*Fireflies- Owl City
The night we first kissed, there were fireflies all around us. It was so incredibly romantic; I'm such a hopeless romantic. No matter how much I'm hurt in Love, I still believe in it.
*If I Fell- The Beatles
My favorite band. I guess this is actually a song for the both of us. We were initially so afraid of hurting each other, uncertain of the repercussions, the future.
*Halo- Beyonce
Baby I can see your halo, you know you're my saving grace. Remember those walls I built? They're tumbling down and they didn't even put up a fight. You're everything I need and more.
*Good Enough- Evanescence
I'm in the process of forgiving myself for my past sins and I guess I'm good enough that someone can love me, flaws, mistakes, and all.