Sages and Sinners

"You all know the saying which is very true: What you resist persists. And I'm sure many of you have already found that out in your life. And then suddenly when you let go of resistance you let go of an attachment to something: I need this to happen in order to be happy; I don't want what is, I want something else. To be okay with what is, which is the simplicity of this moment, is the beginning of true change." -- Eckhart Tolle

The chasm continues to stretch out before me with no end in sight. I started trying to put him out of my mind, forcefully, commanding myself not to think about him. Just a few hours into this rather frustrating endeavor, I meet with a kindly, well rounded, and intelligent old man who, without knowing what was going on in my life, reads the above quote. It was one of those moments where it feels like there just might be a greater design to life; we often don't get to see that design but when we do everything suddenly feels perfectly balanced.
Does this knowledge all of a sudden make the pain stop? No. Does it give me a tool to deal with it? Absolutely! Will it take a while for me to learn this technique of letting go and standing still for a little while to learn to rebalance myself and eventually get over the heartbreak? Certainly. He's still out there and I do have to see him on a fairly regular basis; but this isn't the end of my journey.

Opposites attract by ~stella-marina

Digital Art / Photomanipulation / Emotional

©2009-2012 ~stella-marina

http://stella-marina.deviantart.com/art/Opposites-attract-143662636

The Chasm

Before me stood a great chasm. As I contemplated how to cross it, a witch appeared right before my eyes and handed me a potion.
"Drink this and you'll get across."
Seeing no reason not to distrust the witch, I uncorked it and drank. I felt a sharp pain, first in my head, then down my body. I imagined this is what a dry, parched earth must feel when it starts to crack. Then I feel myself being lifted high above the ground and across.
When my vision finally clears and all the pain is gone I look down and see one half of me on one side of the chasm- this side is very successful. I'm talking to people and designing. I could sense that this side was very happy with the way Life had worked itself out so wonderfully in my favor. The skies were clear here.
But on the other side, I saw something very different. This other side of the chasm had dark clouds looming overhead. The fog was so think I could hardly find where my other half was. Finally, I spotted it standing in the center of a group of men. Again, I was laughing and talking to them, but there was something not happy.
I finally stop and take a look at myself and my surroundings. I'm standing on a street corner, close to a lamppost, with a trenchcoat on- very 1940's film noir stuff. All that was missing was the swirling fog, cigarette and pulled down fedora. Who was I waiting for? Then from the light side of the chasm, building a bridge with every step he took, approached a man. He stopped in front of me, and I noticed that he was leading the successful side of me by the hand and then beckoned the other half to him. As my two sides watched on, I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. He brought me success, yet brought my downfall. I started developing romantic feelings towards him; he only wanted me for his entertainment. He was tearing me in two; in my professional life, I have to keep calm and do what I have to do. As soon as I get home, I break down and have no desire to do anything.
When I finally pull back from the kiss, I push him aside and run across the bridge. I don't know where that bridge will lead me, but I know that I have to get away from him. He has too much of me already, I need to escape with whatever I can salvage. Including what's left of my heart.