New Incarnation

For the third time since this blog was formed...wow two years ago, I have decided to change the title. As I was trying to think of what to rename the blog -- thinking about how I feel all my creative writing energies have deserted me, that as soon as I figured out where I want to go with my life I feel more singular and not as variable as I once was, and how seemingly all that was once familiar to me is slowly starting to fade away as I enter my last semester of college -- Pink Floyd's Is There Anybody Out There started playing in my head. There are no other words than those, it's spoken-sung plaintively, hardly begging and desperate, yet still full of something unfulfilled. The simple acoustic guitar arrangement has a more melancholy feel to it. I'm not sure what it is, but simplicity in musical arrangements make me sad.

Anyway, this is the last time in my life where I will have to go to school. Mind you, I've been in school since I was three so this is a big change for me and you'll pardon if I feel just a tad intimidated. As ready as I am to leave, and I have no desire at the moment to go to grad school, I am fully aware of the difficulties that lie before me: a bad job market and economy, a governor who thinks that I'm wasting my time and tax payer dollars on a liberal arts education, and a field that is just as much about talent as it is about connections. Yet that is life, the life I have chosen to live. Maybe this blog will chronicle my journey and plaintively ask "Is there anybody out there willing to join me? Is there anybody out there who can guide me, advise me, help me?" Is there anybody out there?

A letter

Dear Justin Bieber,

Mariah Carey does not need your help to sing her vocally challenging song "All I Want For Christmas is You". She is talented enough to hold her own. So stop mooching off of her talent and get off the music sphere since you don't have any talent.

Love,
Maverick

Veterans' Day poem

How can I express
all the gratitude I feel
for those who are selfless
and willing to fight for me?

A simple thank you will not suffice
so let me take this time to devise
a few simple lines for those who serve.

I know a few of you by name,
others I will never know, yet you deserve
as much love and acclaim.

I am forever in your debt
and as I hold back my tears of fierce pride
let us never forget
all you have sacrificed to provide
FREEDOM.

A little ditty

(To be sung to the tune of "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong)

I see the Gators won
The Dolphins did too
And I say to myself
What a wonderful world.

October was a horrible month for both of my beloved teams, but November ushered in the cold and a win. I guess that evens things out. :)
GO GATORS!
GO DOLPHINS!

I want to send out a very special happy birthday to MadDogBV. This is the big one, 21. Now I finally have a drinking buddy. Ok no, neither one of us is an alcoholic. It's just the idea that now either one of us can buy a bottle of wine to go with our romantic 5-Star pizza dinner and we don't have to sneak around to do it. Now we can sit like sophisticated adults and sip a glass of wine with our dinner or go to a show and stop somewhere for a drink afterward in our matching trench coats.
This is a major turning point in your life, Dear. Last night I saw the first glimpse of the man you are becoming. You looked so polished and refined; not at all the gawkish boy you are gradually leaving behind. I'm so glad I could be a part of your life at this time. I remember a year ago I bought you that ridiculous vampire cake and we went to Chili's and had the 2/$20. We had known each other all of 9 months and had only been dating all of a month and a half. Yet, we become quite close very quickly *nudge nudge wink wink*.
I look forward to seeing you more than a bit buzzed tonight. Just remember, always use a D.D. and secondly (and most importantly) remember that too much liquid courage prevents the machine from working .
Hope you have a wonderful birthday (I'll make damn sure of it), I love you E><3
Maverick

My Life is Over

So today is John Lennon's birthday anniversary, but on this day my life is over. I've been saying for the past year now that I knew for sure I'd never get married and now it is confirmed. I waited and hoped for the past ten years that this guy would notice me and fall in love with me. I love his voice, he writes wonderful songs that always bring a smile to my face, he plays guitar and piano, and has a sunny personality. He's also really cute, but that's besides the point. Even though there's a significant age difference, it didn't bother me. I love him and I will continue to love him even though he's now married.
Oh Paul, would you have given me a chance if I'd ever told you how much I love and admire you? Or would you have simply passed me up as just another silly girl? I know you have many admirers but maybe you would have made an exception for me? Ten years is an awful long time to have feelings for someone. My feelings for you have only changed insomuch as they have exponentially grown and deepened. Every time you sing, I feel like you're singing just for me. We are both artists and keep hoping to find true, eternal love. I know that I've found that in you.
But now it is too late. You are now happily married and I am left alone in this cold cruel world without you beside me. Despite this, I still wish you the best of luck in your marriage and I hope she treats you better than your last wife.

Yours forever,
Wanna-be Mrs. Paul McCartney

A Series of Mini-Posts

Instead of having a long blog, I've decided to simply post small blurbs about the things that have been on my mind lately. They are in no particular order and some of them are intended as only slight hammed up, melodramatic, whining-because-I-like-to-hear-myself-whine.

The Dolphins- Good God they march down the field but when they get to the 20 yard line they quit because, what? They feel like simply getting to the 20 is an accomplishment? It's going to be a loooooong season. So far, I'm not that impressed with Reggie Bush. Thankfully it looks like Henne is finally kinda-sorta starting to improve. Maybe there is hope for him after all. We'll just call him a late bloomer.

Speaking of late bloomers...

The Gators- I told my friends that if we were having trouble scoring against little teams that we would not be able to compete with the big teams. And lo and behold! I was right. After a promising start- we scored a touchdown in our first drive and a field goal- we never got that close to scoring against Alabama again. Fine, they are all rookies and Brantley got injured in the middle of the game. But Brantley has always sucked and will always suck. He's like a stick of butter when it gets too hot. No, he should be a diamond, but he's just not. And what is up with the play-calling? This is not the days of Tim Tebow, we can't just depend on the quarterback to run it as well as he can throw it. Gone are the days of jump passes, and perfectly timed happy mistakes. Throw out that playbook, it doesn't work here anymore. (Sadly). Oh and the Gators are running (pun intended) into the same problem the Dolphins had last year. They ran Ricky and Ronnie so much people started expecting it. If the Gators continue to run Rainey and Demps as much as they do, teams will start expecting it too. Don't even get me started on the penalties....

On a lighter note....

My love life- After a rough August/September things are working quite well between my boyfriend and I. For the first time in my life, I've been able to be in a relationship for one consecutive year. I don't count the break-ups because they were so short that it's hardly worth counting. It's not like we ever broke up for a month or more. If that was the case, I would have reset the counter, but thankfully we didn't. There should be a relationship status called "we just are". It's quite the opposite of "it's complicated". In fact, "we just are" delineates a relationship where there are no defined roles, no thought is given to the future, and it's two people who simply enjoy each others company. We let each other morph and we don't hold each other to roles (gendered or otherwise). We still call each other boyfriend/girlfriend but I think it's a more modern relationship.

My future- I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE!!!!!!!! 'Nuff said.

I haven't forgotten

Ten years. Thinking back I see how much I've changed; I wore glasses then, now I wear contacts. I was about to enter young adulthood, otherwise known as being a teenager, I am now old enough to vote, drive a car, legally drink, serve in the military, etc. My family life has changed, I've made new friends and lost some old ones.
But the one thing that hasn't changed is the pain I still feel when I think back to that day almost 10 years ago when the course of this country shifted dramatically in a single morning's time. Many things have been said about September 11. Many talk about where they were, a close call they themselves or someone they know had and some talk about a lost loved one. I want to talk about the aftermath.
After September 11th, I saw so many people flying American flags from their car windows, in stores and in front of their houses. There was a real sense of unity; all race, religious, and age barriers came tumbling down as we sorted through the ruins of Ground Zero, the Pentagon, and the field in Pennsylvania. For a time, the true spirit of America radiated from our borders into the rest of the world. Our allies rallied against us and vowed to help us track down who committed these heinous acts against humanity.
But soon, like the state of my growing body, things began to change within us. The patriotism that brought us together, began to divide us. Different groups began to have different ideas as to how to alleviate the financial burdens placed on the country by two wars. More generally, America has come to a crossroads and the question we have been asking ourselves for the past ten years is "Where do we go from here?"
In these past ten years we have stopped talking about "Americans" and have begun talking about "tea party-ers" and "baby killers". Where is the spirit that once united us? I honestly do believe now more than ever we need to put aside our differences and work together to find the solution that will help a large majority of the people of the United States. Not the politicians, not a small percentage of the population, but "Joe the Plumber" and the future. America was founded on differences but built by compromise.
Last night I cried thinking about September 11th. Not so much for the act itself, but for everything that has happened since then. How many of us really stop and commemorate the event anymore? Last year I remember I went to the library where they had set up a display of flags. I stopped and thought of all those who have given their bodies, minds, and lives so that I could enjoy the sunshine in my college campus. In so many countries I wouldn't have the opportunity to go to school, choose whatever career I want, and enter the work force in order to make money to support myself and then do whatever I want with that money. (After taxes and bills of course.) I'm allowed to think and feel whatever I want and I don't have to worry that I'll 'disappear' just because I don't agree with the political party in office. In processing all of this, I felt an overwhelming love for my country and a crippling sadness at the state we've found ourselves in. Seeing all the political factions fight over nothing and simply for the sake of fighting is destroying everything I hold near and dear to my heart.
I can't think of a more fitting tribute for 9/11 than for us to remember the words of the Pledge of Allegiance "one nation...indivisible" and then take that and live in the spirit of that phrase.
God Bless America.

Alternate Universe

This past summer I worked at a large retail store. I was ususally the fitting room attendant; however this post is not to bitch about the experience because overall it was a very good experience.

This past Saturday was my last day and I was in the fitting room. This young couple walked in with a number of items each. The girl had a Gators hoodie and I asked her if she was attending UF. She said that she had already graduated. The guy had a Gators T-shirt and I asked him if he also graduated from UF. He replied that no, he had been in the Army.

I really couldn't say much else. How do you tell someone that they are living your life in an alternate universe without sounding as if you are on drugs? Sure, I could tell them my whole story, but the store is paying me to attend to people, not to tell them my life story and end up in tears by the end of it. If things had gone the way I had hoped they would go, I'd probably be living with him by now. We had been talking about getting an apartment together- I had even started looking around for a +/- $500 a month, one room place close to campus back almost 2 years ago.

One thing has changed though. Last year on my last day at KFC a guy dressed in ACUs came in and I broke down. I'm glad I've healed enough that I didn't break down this time. I did have a slight out-of-body experience and a melancholic nostalgia. Throughout the day I wondered how he was doing, where he was, and...admittingly if he still thought about me every once in a while. Some days, like today, it hurts a little more and it's easier to move me to tears.

I hope in the alternate universe that young couple is happy. I never learned their names, how long they've been together, how they met, etc. but I do wish them happiness and a life filled with love and understanding. As for me in this universe all I can do is continue moving forward with my life. Maybe someday it won't hurt as much to look back on those times...

Comedic Interludes or Reflections

Once upon a fashion time, both men and women wore heels. Men have evolved and realized what a pain they are but women are far behind. It doesn't seem that we will ever give up that which hurts us.

This (among many other reasons) is why I'm having such a hard time finding shoes. I need a pair of dressy/ going out shoes. Not night shoes, no not the kind you'd wear to a black tie event. Just shoes you'd wear for a night on the town. But they are all so freaking high that I won't even try them on. For what? To break my ankle and not be able to dance? Hellz no! I'm not even going to go into how ugly the shoes are now. Some of them are bootlike, with the toes missing and an insanely high heel. Others look like a craft box fell on the basic shoe when some sort of glue was still drying. Even the basic pump seems to have gotten fashion advice from a stripper's shoes. *Sigh*. The struggle continues...

Who is John Galt?

Towards the beginning of the summer, I changed the name of my blog from "Living Under A Rock" to "Who is John Galt?" It was not without a lot of consideration and internal debate. I still do like the original name of my blog, but I felt that WiJG was very appropo at the time. So, I changed it. At that point in my life I was unsure of some of the most basic elements of my future- my relationship with my boyfriend, what I was going to be doing and where I was going to be a year from now freshly graduated from college, etc. All these big life questions with no clear answer. Hence "Who is John Galt?"
The part about my boyfriend resolved itself, but the part about my future is still uncertain. So, in my mind, I've formed a bond with the illusive Mr. John Galt and I'm hoping that by the end of the book I will have some kind of catharsis. It's happened to me before, I've formed bonds with characters in books, or with plotlines and have experienced an emotional purging by the book's end. Two books of particular note are "The Things They Carried" by Tim O'Brien and "We the Living" by Ayn Rand. Two radically different styles, but they spoke to me at the time of reading them. I'm hoping John Galt will do the same for me.

Atlas Shrugged part 2

Who is this man that visited Hammon the night before he disappeared? According to his sister, a stranger came to the house in the evening and he and Hammon stayed in his study talking late into the night. I think it is the John Galt himself come to take him and all the other highly successful and daring businessmen to Atlantis. Men like Ellis Wyatt, Nielson, and Hammon. I've still got a ways to go....

Atlas Shrugged

Last summer I read "The Fountainhead" and "We the Living" by Ayn Rand. I have started reading "Atlas Shrugged" this summer but due to classes, work, and general time wasting I'm not as far along as I would have been if I had read at the pace I read last summer. Oh well. In regards to the "Who is John Galt?" question, Ayn Rand may or may not have finally given us a little crumb of information. Was he really a rich man who found the city of Atlantis, the city of heroes? I don't know yet. Please if you've read the book, don't spoil it for me. Don't tell me what happens, I like to find things out for myself because that's the fun of it. The unanswerable question. I love it!
Unfortunately I don't have the time to write a dissertation on my opinions on Objectivism. I might do that later.

Songs for you

As opposed to a romantic song list, I've decided to post up a list of songs for a very particular person. Instead of using their names, I'm going to use a code name which also so happen to be their signature songs.


Dear Lose Control-

Hot 'N' Cold by Katy Perry. I hate this song and all its obnoxious glory much like I hate your confounding sentiments. One day you say you're falling for me, then I don't hear from you. You say you want me and then leave me hanging. I don't know if it's because you're stoned when you tell me these things, or if it's because you're stoned that you don't follow through.

You're Not Sorry by Taylor Swift. I've finally figured out what I have to do. Don't bother calling me anymore because I won't pick up the phone. I'm tired of being taken for a ride. What we had once was really fun and I really enjoyed it, but it's over between us. There was never anything to begin with so why grasp as straws?

Lose Control by Evanescence. The song I originally dedicated to you. What happened when I lost control and you benefited. We didn't play so quiet, and I eventually felt guilty and, guess what my lamb? I told. We lost control more than once but I can't cut you down to a thing I can use.

*Edit- I forgot that I had dedicated another song to you.
Goodbye My Lover- James Blunt. I remember sitting in my dorm one night listening to this song at least 10 times in a row trying to fight against the flames that were burning in my heart. Yes, I wanted something more than just sex from you; yes, I would have wanted to give 'us' a try even if only for a few months.
I'm not going to waste anymore time on you, or great songs for that matter. I've deleted your number and I'm working on erasing you from the front of my mind.

On Bullying

As of late schools have been taking tougher measures against bullying because of the recent increased in bullying related suicides. While the suicides are terrible losses of young lives and heartbreaking to their families it doesn't have to be this way.

Bullying will always happen. No matter what kind of measures are taken, they will not solve the problem. Well meaning parents and teachers are only in fact doing more harm than good. The human soul is a lot more resilient than we admit or realize. By not teaching kids how to effectively deal with bullying, they are missing out on important life lessons.

1. How to be assertive


2. How to resolve problems with different people


3. How to let things go


4. How to forgive


5. How to not let things hurt you


6. Judgement of character


7. Being the bigger person


8. How to help others


9. Standing up and defending what they believe to be right

I was bullied from 4th grade through 8th grade. Even in high school I wasn't the most popular person. By that point, I didn't care anymore because I had grown some thicker skin and had learned to just ignore them and go about my business. Yes, there were many times when I'd cry about how mean people were to me when I was in middle school. But I survived. I didn't kill myself, I didn't do drugs or cut myself because I was bullied. Let's face it, school is not only for learning reading, writing, and arithmetic but it's also where kids learn how to function in society. This is not to put the responsibility solely on the teachers and schools. This is where PARENTING comes in. It is the parents' responsibility to teach their kids their ideas of right and wrong. But as the proverb goes "practice makes perfect" and school is for kids to implement these morals, practice them, be exposed to others' morals, and mold their own ideas as to what is right and wrong. Yes, fights happen, people don't get along. What is war but large scale bullying? That's why there is diplomacy in politics. We are disservicing our kids by not teaching them how to be diplomatic and how to solve problems amongst their peers at an early age. Only then will the bullying problem be attacked at the root as opposed to the branches.

If you are being bullied- Talk to your parents, a trusted teacher, or the school counselor. Tell them about the problem and ask for ways to solve it and try solving it yourself. If that fails then it's ok to ask for help.

If you know of someone being bullied- DO NOT STAY QUIET!!! Violence usually escalates and if caught early tragedies can be avoided. Be observant and if you notice anything please say something to a teacher, a parent, or the school counselor. You could wind up saving someone's life.

If you are the bully- Ask yourself "Why does this person make me angry?" If you are having issues at home, or with friends, talk to someone about them. You're hurting too and you need help too but that doesn't give you any kind of right to hurt someone.

I am beginning to discover a side of me that I knew was hiding somewhere. It is beautiful, unique, and plays by its own rules. I am indeed talking about my wonderful curly hair. It's taken me 21 years to come to grips with my hair, learn to love it, but most importantly how to take care of it. All this time, I'd been treating it like straight hair- something that is quite common among us curly girls. I have had my hair soaked then cut and razored to 'thin it out'. It's only in the past couple of weeks that I've learned you are in fact supposed to cut curly hair DRY! The past year has also seen me telling the hairdresser, almost pleading with her, not to run that razor through my hair. Only specially trained people know how to cut our hair and they can be a little hard to find. I finally found the stylist who can understand and knows how to handle my hair the way it should be handled. It took a lot of internet searches that lead me to other discoveries about my hair. It was finally at a club where I got the name of a hairstylist and I am very happy with the results. I'm also going cold turkey on the shampoo. That's right no shampoo. I've learned that shampoo is basically detergent- like the kind you use to wash your dishes. That explains why my hair is so dry. My next task is to find a sulfate-free shampoo. I think my best option is the Burt's Bees brand. If anyone has used this shampoo, please let me know what the ingrediants are.
Today I put olive oil and vanilla on the tips of my hair and they do feel softer, I massaged aloe vera into my scalp and washed all that out with baking soda and water. I put my shea butter in my hair and for the first time in a long time, the front of my hair curled! For so long it had been dry and shapeless, like it was trying to go straight, but I finally got it to curl around and live again.
So I have written something akin to the Finding Nemo sharks promise to be vegetarian.
I am a recovering Curly. I will no longer subject my hair to abuse. I will love it, nurture it, and treat it the way it needs to be treated for it to always look fabulous. It reflects me and my curly crazy personality. Love it or hate it, but please don't touch it.
If anybody needs help or advice on how to manage curly hair or just wants to talk about your tips and tricks, your horror stories, or maybe you are a recovered Curly, please feel free to message me. I can tell you right now that my bible is called "Curly Girl" by Lorraine Massey. I'm not just saying this because I'm sponsored- I'm not. I'm saying this because this is how I truly feel and I want to help other girls, and guys, in a world that is dominated by the straight mentality.

P.S. I promise my blog will not turn into a hair blog. I will still post my writings, opinions, etc.

Our Song part 2

For a couple of weeks I've been compliling a list of songs for Sam. I wanted to reflect on where our relationship has gone and where it's headed as we approach a milestone I have never hit- the one year. I believe a little more each day that we can actually make it.

Going My Way- Bing Crosby For a while there, Sam and I took to watching TCM and one night they were playing a movie called "Going My Way" starring Bing Crosby. It was about a pastor who took over a church and convinced all the young boys who would stir up trouble in the neighborhood to form a choir for the church and behave. It was a sweet little movie and it was more of a showcase for Crosby because he would sing every 20 minutes but the song is quite beautiful and Crosby really does have a nice, well supported, bottomed voice. This song is an optimistic ballad and the perfect soundtrack for cuddling up and watching a movie in the arms of someone you love.

Touch My Body- Mariah Carey Ok so Sam as a general rule hates mainstream pop music but he does admit that she has lots of talent. This one is pretty self explanetory. If you don't get it, you haven't experienced it, so don't worry, you will. ;)


As Time Goes By- Dooley Wilson This song is from one of my all-time favorite movies "Casablanca". This is another movie that we've watched together and both enjoyed. It's such a romantic song with a beautiful piano melody and Dooley's voice complements this song perfectly. No one sings it quite like he does.

Angel of Mine- Amanda Somerville You have saved me I must confess it's you that always gives me strength and I don't know where I'd be without you. It's a beautiful song with no obvious fancy special effects. Just her, a piano, and a background chorus that's probably her voice recorded and played over. Either way, the words are really about us.

Here Comes The Sun- The Beatles Metaphorically the sun has finally risen for me. I feel like I've started a new stage in my life; the world is calm and bright. It's been a long, cold, lonely couple of years when I had to deal with a lot of issues but I'm finally learning to let things go and that I don't have to carry my past around my neck like an albatross because I am my own person and I don't have to re-live someone else's past, or my own for that matter.

Good Enough

Soundtrack- Good Enough by Evanescence
This time last year, I was writing about losing the love of my life. I wondered if I'd ever be able to find someone, forgive myself for the horrible mistakes I'd made and allow myself to be happy again.
I was able to find someone, but that didn't mean that I allowed myself to be happy or that I'd forgiven myself.
I talked to John* a few times since we broke up and the last time we talked, he'd told me that he'd finally forgiven me and that allowed me to start forgiving myself.
But that didn't mean that I still had come to grips with the possibility that I could be happy, that I didn't have to be alone for the rest of my life to atone for my mistakes. I couldn't shake the feeling that this peace, this calm, simple and normal relationship was not permanent-- that it was only the proverbial calm before the storm and that I was going to pay dearly for these months of bliss.
I have finally accepted that I can indeed be happy. I'm finally allowing myself to be happy and I don't dread something awful happening at the start of every day. It's not a complete transformation yet, but it's getting there.

I live I ride I am

There is nothing like the feeling of the wind brushing your hair back the way all the supermodels do. There is an inherent bubbly feeling when you see all the guys and girls oogling you as you hold onto a man because that's the only thing you have to hold on to. There is something sexy about being able to wear a black leather jacket for more than just show. I love the feeling of the vibrations of the machine that I straddle. While not quite a Harley Davidson motorcycle, I have recently fallen in love with riding on the back of my boyfriend's scooter. All the cliches that accompany riding a motorcycle definitely apply here. The freedom, the wind in your hair, the romance of the Italian vespas right here in America, the speed- because 40 miles per hour does feel a heck of a lot faster al fresco- and yeah, holding onto the person you love for dear life is kind of sexy and dangerous. When he first got the scooter we went out for a little spin and a pit stop at Chik-Fil-A. These two girls were riding a scooter right next to us at one point and we were both stopped at a red light and they commented on how cute we looked and how one of them was just talking about how she wanted a boyfriend. I couldn't help but smile and hold him just a little tighter. Yep, a few cars have honked at us-or so we think. Since I'm a city girl, I'm used to people honking if the car in front of them does not move the very nanosecond the light turns green, so I tend to tune out honking. But Sam notices and he's convinced they are honking at me. One time we were driving down Frat Row and these frat guys were hanging out and one of them yelled down to us "Fuck her!" Gotta love the obnoxious, hormone driven frat guys.
I wish I had a picture of the two of us driving off into the sunset on the scooter to post along with this entry. But alas, I don't.

This is just BAAAAAD!!!!

In honor of Rebecca Black having the most disliked video on Youtube, I've decided to make a list of some truly horrible songs. Thank you to Sam and Josue for exposing me to these. They are just too much.

1) Attack Attack! Stick Stickly http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDzt6yI3Dw8
Try and make it through the whole video because the transition and the dance are just too much.

2) brokeNCYDE Freaxxx http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AV8N44HzfBQ
I can't get through this one. Bad hair, bad music, guys in pink, white guys rapping, bad quality video....and that's just what I gathered from the first two minutes of a 4 minute long song.

3) Complete Hoogie-Boogie Land http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukjnrXTTvPY
I didn't even bother watching the video because I was too busy writing this. But the few frames that I caught....Oh dear God. This is what happens when 40 year old red-necks have a midlife crisis, get together and form a band. Apparently, you can watch their whole set!

4) Torsofuck Raped by Elephants http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0zhXQdmnI0
This is upset stomach music. I call it screamo but Sam gets mad at me every time I do that because screamo is a genre and not every song that has upset stomach noises is screamo. Apparently to differentiate you have to listen to the instruments. I can't. The sounds offend my inner ear.

5) I won't torture you anymore! Hell, I'm not going to torture me anymore. I value my hearing too much and my poor little brain that has to process the sound waves coming from my poor abused speakers.

All of a sudden, Rebecca Black's song doesn't seem so bad anymore. It's all of a sudden catchy, innocent, and fun.

What is Art?

This question was first posed to me my senior year of high school in a class called "Theory of Knowledge". Surely, I'd heard that question before, but it was at that time that I was encouraged to really think about it.
I'm currently majoring in English and theatre and have worked in a number of productions and been an audience member since I was a child. I took a class in art history my spring semester of my freshman year of college as well. My mom has taken me to some of the most prominent art museums in New York and Washington D.C., I danced ballet for 13 years, I also took salsa, swing, hip-hop, and tap. I took piano lessons for 8 years. In short, I fancy myself 'cultured' and 'well-rounded' and a huge supporter of the arts.
It occurred to me today as I was in tech rehearsals for "The Madwoman of Challiot" what art is. Now, please note that this is my personal definition but discussion is welcomed wholeheartedly.
"Art is inspiration seized, molded, and presented in some tangible way."
Everybody has those flashes of ideas. That's inspiration. However, not everyone can recognize the potential of that idea, or they don't know how to express it, they don't have the time to develop it, or they don't have the motivation, etc. Now the person who does recognize the potential of the idea (let's call him/her 'the artist') and knows how to express it in some medium (paint, sculpture, writing, music, dance, theatre etc) has to be able to hold onto this flash and mold it to get at the essence of the idea. Imagine a movie that is trying to portray some theme but gets bogged down because of bad execution in whatever aspect. In much the same way, the artist has to make his art leave out all the unnecessary details, all the fluff that gets in the way of showing the idea. Writers spend countless hours laboring over just the right word.
Art has to be shared. It cannot be locked up and hidden from the world. For me, the wonderful thing about art is that anybody can experience it and have some kind of emotional reaction. It's such a communal and humanistic aspect of our lives. Indeed, I believe the production of art in any way, shape, or form is what separates us from all the other animal species in the world. It was Jules Verne who thought of air travel, submarines, and space travel before the technology had been invented. Artist dream of things for the human race to achieve- be it peace, submarines, equality, or a new perspective. There really is no limit to what the human mind can dream.

Thank you for reading my ramblings. I wish I had a picture to post along with this blog. If I find something, I'll post it. Please comment below and let me know your opinions.

I Won't Say It

Back in November, when I was in the middle of a huge writing dry spell, I decided that I was going to force myself to write something. I don't really like this poem too much because I don't think it's some of my best work. There's not a lot to explain about it. So without further ado...
November 22, 2010
I Won’t Say It
For you I would dedicate all the songs
About starting up a new love
But I don’t want to tell you just yet how I feel.
You make me smile again
You make me laugh again.
I’ve got that feeling again.
Even though I’m writing a song
I don’t want you to think of
Some crazy notion of sentimentality.
I think I’m falling for you.
There’s not use hiding.
But I’m not ready to admit
I’ve got it bad for you.

Music Acts in Super Bowl XLV

Here's a review of the musical acts that performed in the Super Bowl. Most people talk about the ads, but as my loyal readers know, I love music.

Christina Aguilera- Although some of her songs are not the greatest, I think she has an amazing voice because it's well supported and she has a great range. However, she did not do a good job singing the national anthem. I'm not even talking about her forgetting the lyrics; I think she chose the wrong key to sing it in. It was a letdown for me to see such a talented singer give a mediocre, at best, performance because I know that she can do better than that.

Lea Michele- She's a Broadway star! One of the reasons why I don't watch Glee is because that show does not do her justice. She has gone from being a great, budding singer, into sounding like any other teen idol, nasally head voice and all. At the beginning of the song, I was cringing just listening to how far she had sunk. But as the song progressed, I heard a definite improvement in the quality of her voice and by the end, all the Glee had elevated to the Broadway star quality that I knew she still had to have in her.

Black Eyed Peas- Fergie, shut the fuck up and let Axl- with all his ego and control freakishness- sing "Sweet Child of Mine"! Even with auto-tuned microphones, there were times where you could hear that they were just speaking and letting technology do all the work. They were out of tune and times and did not support their voices at all. The best part of the half-time show was when Slash appeared on stage for all of 45 seconds. I do like the songs the Black Eyed Peas played, I really do, but they aren't very good live. The costumes looked like alien football pads. Big shoulders went out of style in the 80's people! There wasn't anything exciting about the show in general either. They didn't seem to have any energy or passion for what they were doing. The light suits the extras wore were cool- kind of Tron style, but again, nothing spectacular.

The Sting of Memory

Don't you hate it when things from your past come back to tease you? No, not haunt. It's not as dramatic as that. It's little things, like an unexpected e-mail or text from someone you thought you'd never talk to again. As e-mail not to confront or beg but rather to ask for information because you have information that the other person needs and they have no other source to turn to but you. Or sometimes someone has done something to you in the past and then a completely unrelated person does the same exact thing? You can't hold it against the second person, it's not their fault that you have something against their action because it has been tainted by someone else. But you can't help but feel a little bit miffed by it. The worst one for me is music. You all of a sudden hear a song that someone introduced you to, a song that you don't normally listen to, a song that is now embedded with meaning, memories, and the essence of that person, a song that you haven't listened to since the last time you saw that person. I guess it's because I use songs to express how I feel. I've posted a number of blogs about songs that I've dedicated to a boyfriend, or an ex, songs that are hidden gems and a whole blog about one band.
I don't want to go into specifics as to why I'm writing this post because it wouldn't be fair to the person who has inadvertently awoken a kind of phantom jealousy inside me. It's not his fault; it's me who has to deal with the ghosts of my past and put them to rest so that I won't get upset.
P.S. this is actually a picture I took and edited. This is my boyfriend's eye that I supersaturated and placed it over the black and white picture of his eye.

My Favorite Things

This is a partial list of my favorite things. They are in no particular order and I was inspired by the song "My Favorite Things" from the classic movie musical "The Sound of Music". I would love to know some of your favorite things. Comment below and let me know! :)
* Chandeliers
* Pretty dresses
* Cute socks
* Highlighters
* Chocolate
* Acoustic guitars
* Music
* Dancing
* Football
* Dramatic make-up
* Cavalier puppies
* Pianos
* Old books
* Food
* The beach
* Flowers
* Kisses
* Jewelry
* Cloche hats
* Old movies
* Cuddly animals
* Sleeping
* Victorian houses
* The beautiful stranger
* Soprano voices
* Deep manly voices
* Sewing
* Writing letters