So I had firmly decided that I wasn't going to date or hook-up with anybody for a while because I needed to focus on myself, my career, get my life in order, make new friends, etc. I know that the only reason I would want a boyfriend right now would be to stave off loneliness and it would be a quick and easy way to have someone to go out with. Then what? I build my entire life around this one person because I don't have anybody else and when it goes south I'm screwed. No, I don't want that. I want a network of friends, acquaintances, going out friends, staying in friends, gossip friends, etc, etc, etc. Then, once I got my life settled and was at a point where I felt like I could share my life with someone other than myself, then I'd think about dating. But then, of course, LIFE HAPPENED!No, I'm not dating anyone at the moment, nor can I honestly say that what happened was enough to deter me from my plan, but it got me thinking about the plan. Do I want to be single for that long? Wouldn't I want to flirt with someone; maybe even go out with someone, even if it was for just one date? It's not a marriage proposal, nor is it even a long term commitment, or a promise of a future. It's just a date. A date that is not set in stone, a date that has a lot of "ifs" and "maybes" attached to it. A date that is contingent on the stars aligning in just the right way. A way that is so infinitesimally specific that it seems almost certain to fail.
And yet, I still want it.
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