Bullying will always happen. No matter what kind of measures are taken, they will not solve the problem. Well meaning parents and teachers are only in fact doing more harm than good. The human soul is a lot more resilient than we admit or realize. By not teaching kids how to effectively deal with bullying, they are missing out on important life lessons.
- How to be assertive
- How to resolve problems with different people
- How to let things go
- How to forgive
- How to not let things hurt you
- Judgement of character
- Being the bigger person
- How to help others
- Standing up and defending what they believe to be right
I was bullied from 4th grade through 8th grade. Even in high school I wasn't the most popular person. By that point, I didn't care anymore because I had grown some thicker skin and had learned to just ignore them and go about my business. Yes, there were many times when I'd cry about how mean people were to me when I was in middle school. But I survived. I didn't kill myself, I didn't do drugs or cut myself because I was bullied. Let's face it, school is not only for learning reading, writing, and arithmetic but it's also where kids learn how to function in society. This is not to put the responsibility solely on the teachers and schools. This is where PARENTING comes in. It is the parents' responsibility to teach their kids their ideas of right and wrong. But as the proverb goes "practice makes perfect" and school is for kids to implement these morals, practice them, be exposed to others' morals, and mold their own ideas as to what is right and wrong. Yes, fights happen, people don't get along. What is war but large scale bullying? That's why there is diplomacy in politics. We are disservicing our kids by not teaching them how to be diplomatic and how to solve problems amongst their peers at an early age. Only then will the bullying problem be attacked at the root as opposed to the branches.
If you are being bullied- Talk to your parents, a trusted teacher, or the school counselor. Tell them about the problem and ask for ways to solve it and try solving it yourself. If that fails then it's ok to ask for help.
If you know of someone being bullied- DO NOT STAY QUIET!!! Violence usually escalates and if caught early tragedies can be avoided. Be observant and if you notice anything please say something to a teacher, a parent, or the school counselor. You could wind up saving someone's life.
If you are the bully- Ask yourself "Why does this person make me angry?" If you are having issues at home, or with friends, talk to someone about them. You're hurting too and you need help too but that doesn't give you any kind of right to hurt someone.
You present a valid point but I wish you mentioned the bullying that goes on with LGBT Youth. It is extremely hard for them when they grow in a world that still is not completely accepting of them.
ReplyDeleteImagine growing up in a household where it is considered sinful, an environment where it isn't tolerated. Bullying on LGBT youth is terrible, and it is often times unnoticed.
I don't know if you ever heard of the "It Gets Better" campaign. It basically is messages to those who are bullyed for being gay, but it applies to essentially anybody. One guy started it and a whole bunch of people, famous and not, made their own videos on how life gets better.
I just wished you would addressed the bullying with gay youth in our country.
You're right. I actually had to write this post twice since it didn't save correctly the first time and in the first post I had dealt with the LGBQT bullying issue. I have heard of the "It Gets Better" campaign and I'm so glad you commented on it and brought it to my readers' attention. Readers, please if you know of someone who is "in the closet" support them and their decisions. In the end, they are only human beings just like you and me and they deserve safety, love, and all the basic needs as well. There are plenty of examples of homosexual behavior in the animal world as well. Times are changing. Just as women had to fight to be more than just property, now it is the LGBQT's turn to fight for equality. It takes a long time, and it's a hard fight, but perspectives do slowly change. Find the people who love and support you no matter what. Those are your real friends; anybody who will judge you or try and convince you that you're not right in the head is ignorant, mean, and honestly who wants a friend like that? As for family, well, you can't pick them, but you can try and make peace with them. If they cast you out there are still people who will love you for WHO YOU ARE! It gets better. If you need someone to talk to, I'd be more than happy to listen to you, talk to you, and support you. You are not alone! You do this! YOU ARE LOVED!
ReplyDeleteFortunately, the best way to end bullying is to gain respect, which is what I did during middle and high school.
ReplyDeleteAlthough to gain said respect is harder to do, non-violence is the preferred method but some times you need to crack some skulls and learn the reason to fight.
Thankfully my bullying did not consist of physical violence but rather verbal abuse. But you do bring up an interesting point- respect. Do you mean other people respecting you, or respecting yourself? Or both?
ReplyDeleteIt's an odd thing really, as one feeds the other.
ReplyDeleteVery true. Good for you! I learned to walk straight and ignore the negativity. Then I went to a highschool where not a lot of people from my middle school went and I had the chance to start over. Once I learned how to not care, people kept anything negative about me behind my back. And I didn't care :). I wish you the best of luck. Please follow me as I do post often and I would love to continue hearing from you. Thank you
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