Sunday, July 15, 2012

A New Start

Hey everybody, I am now moved in to my new apartment and have been working at my new job for about a week and a half now. I now live 1,300 miles away from home and I love it. I love having my own four walls that I'm paying for. I live under my rules and I don't have to listen to anyone telling me what to do.
It wasn't that easy to move though. I had to pack up my stuff and leave home. That wasn't so bad. I've packed up my stuff for four years when I went to college. Emotionally, it felt the same; after all, my work contract is only valid for the next ten months. I still haven't quite figured out what the next step is, but it will come in time. The drive was long and boring though. Through four states, the scenery was the same. We did, however, stop in one of my favorite vacation spots for lunch. Little did I know then that sitting on my ass for basically 10 hours for two days was going to be the easy part. I spent the majority of the time texting my friends, talking to my mom who was helping me move, and flipping through the radio stations to find the R&B stations for my mom. She was the driver so she controlled the radio. Of course we stopped and took all the mandatory state line pictures.
So we get to my new home town and we are driving in circles...literally. The city has two major highways that circle the city with a bunch of  crooked semi spokes which are other highways. I learned that I do not like circles! As we're trying to navigate the city in order to find used furniture shops, running errands to get me settled in, etc. I swear to you I could never remember if I saw a store coming in one direction or going back in the other or really where I had seen it.
One day as we are driving all around town, we were robbed. My laptop, with all my pictures, my webcam, the letters from my boyfriend and my mom's camera and camcorder were stolen. We checked the hotel, praying that we had left the stuff in the room, we went back to the places we had been to the day before to no avail. We weren't even sure when we had been robbed. It had to be somewhere we had spent a long time in. The next day, as we're moving into my apartment, we realize the extent of the robbery. My CDs, a box with my towels, blankets, and a pillow, a duffel bag with my fuzzy bathrobe, my brand new Converse, and my favorite hoodie had also been stolen. I was kind of able to deal with the laptop being stolen because I had burned all the vacation pictures on to CDs and those were safely at home. It was the theft of my CDs that really made me break down and cry. It felt like all the things that identified me had been stolen. It felt like a violation. I'm just thankful my digital camera and phone had been in my purse.
I know these are material things that can easily be replaces, but they are my things. Things I had emotional attachment to. Most of my CDs were gifts from friends, families, ex lovers. My music probably tells you more about me than any 5 page essay about me could. All the things that were stolen had memories attached to them, some tangible, some not. My kitchen utensils don't have nearly as much personality and my imprint as my laptop or even my blankets. Sorry to be crude, but do you know how many times  my ex and I had sex on the blankets that were in one of the boxes? On top of that, my aunt made them for me for Christmas. Yes, it's just two pieces of fleece knotted together, but she took the time to make them for me.
After that, I seriously doubted my decision to move. And then doing the numbers for my budget scared me. I would have just enough to pay off all my living expenses and put some money into savings but not a whole lot to play with. As in, money to go out, eat dinner out, or allow myself an impulse buy.
I know I made these choices. I chose to go into the entertainment industry. Actually a friend of mine is impressed this has panned out for me. I did feel that I had used up all my karma points to get this job. Of course something bad had to happen.
Sam did send me Casablanca, Abbey Road, and Animals and my uncle bought me a new laptop. In general, I do feel like my life is  balancing out and getting on a more even keel. In another post, I'll tell you more about my job.
Until then, stay well dear Readers.
Love,
Maverick

1 comment:

  1. Not sure when you'll be able to read this. There's nothing I can say here that I haven't already said over the phone. It was certainly a rollercoaster ride for you, one in which I tried to be as consistent and supportive as possible in helping you get through this, but it's great that you feel that life is getting better for you.

    Some memories like those letters can never be replaced, but I hope those CDs I sent you gave you a headstart to regaining those which can be. (Gonna miss those blankets, though)

    I feel more and more confident that some day I will be able to visit you. It would be more than worth the money I would spend to do so, just as it was when I visited you in July. It's such a thrill to hear that you are supporting yourself. I know that your budget's real tight, so when I do see you, you'll be treated like royalty for the weekend. :)

    One more thing... I also hope you make good friends in San Antonio. People who won't take advantage of you. People who share your interests - or at least make good company.

    And you will never truly be alone if I can help it...

    Take care.

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