I am beginning to discover a side of me that I knew was hiding somewhere. It is beautiful, unique, and plays by its own rules. I am indeed talking about my wonderful curly hair. It's taken me 21 years to come to grips with my hair, learn to love it, but most importantly how to take care of it. All this time, I'd been treating it like straight hair- something that is quite common among us curly girls. I have had my hair soaked then cut and razored to 'thin it out'. It's only in the past couple of weeks that I've learned you are in fact supposed to cut curly hair DRY! The past year has also seen me telling the hairdresser, almost pleading with her, not to run that razor through my hair. Only specially trained people know how to cut our hair and they can be a little hard to find. I finally found the stylist who can understand and knows how to handle my hair the way it should be handled. It took a lot of internet searches that lead me to other discoveries about my hair. It was finally at a club where I got the name of a hairstylist and I am very happy with the results. I'm also going cold turkey on the shampoo. That's right no shampoo. I've learned that shampoo is basically detergent- like the kind you use to wash your dishes. That explains why my hair is so dry. My next task is to find a sulfate-free shampoo. I think my best option is the Burt's Bees brand. If anyone has used this shampoo, please let me know what the ingrediants are.
Today I put olive oil and vanilla on the tips of my hair and they do feel softer, I massaged aloe vera into my scalp and washed all that out with baking soda and water. I put my shea butter in my hair and for the first time in a long time, the front of my hair curled! For so long it had been dry and shapeless, like it was trying to go straight, but I finally got it to curl around and live again.
So I have written something akin to the Finding Nemo sharks promise to be vegetarian.
I am a recovering Curly. I will no longer subject my hair to abuse. I will love it, nurture it, and treat it the way it needs to be treated for it to always look fabulous. It reflects me and my curly crazy personality. Love it or hate it, but please don't touch it.
If anybody needs help or advice on how to manage curly hair or just wants to talk about your tips and tricks, your horror stories, or maybe you are a recovered Curly, please feel free to message me. I can tell you right now that my bible is called "Curly Girl" by Lorraine Massey. I'm not just saying this because I'm sponsored- I'm not. I'm saying this because this is how I truly feel and I want to help other girls, and guys, in a world that is dominated by the straight mentality.

P.S. I promise my blog will not turn into a hair blog. I will still post my writings, opinions, etc.

Our Song part 2

For a couple of weeks I've been compliling a list of songs for Sam. I wanted to reflect on where our relationship has gone and where it's headed as we approach a milestone I have never hit- the one year. I believe a little more each day that we can actually make it.

Going My Way- Bing Crosby For a while there, Sam and I took to watching TCM and one night they were playing a movie called "Going My Way" starring Bing Crosby. It was about a pastor who took over a church and convinced all the young boys who would stir up trouble in the neighborhood to form a choir for the church and behave. It was a sweet little movie and it was more of a showcase for Crosby because he would sing every 20 minutes but the song is quite beautiful and Crosby really does have a nice, well supported, bottomed voice. This song is an optimistic ballad and the perfect soundtrack for cuddling up and watching a movie in the arms of someone you love.

Touch My Body- Mariah Carey Ok so Sam as a general rule hates mainstream pop music but he does admit that she has lots of talent. This one is pretty self explanetory. If you don't get it, you haven't experienced it, so don't worry, you will. ;)


As Time Goes By- Dooley Wilson This song is from one of my all-time favorite movies "Casablanca". This is another movie that we've watched together and both enjoyed. It's such a romantic song with a beautiful piano melody and Dooley's voice complements this song perfectly. No one sings it quite like he does.

Angel of Mine- Amanda Somerville You have saved me I must confess it's you that always gives me strength and I don't know where I'd be without you. It's a beautiful song with no obvious fancy special effects. Just her, a piano, and a background chorus that's probably her voice recorded and played over. Either way, the words are really about us.

Here Comes The Sun- The Beatles Metaphorically the sun has finally risen for me. I feel like I've started a new stage in my life; the world is calm and bright. It's been a long, cold, lonely couple of years when I had to deal with a lot of issues but I'm finally learning to let things go and that I don't have to carry my past around my neck like an albatross because I am my own person and I don't have to re-live someone else's past, or my own for that matter.

Good Enough

Soundtrack- Good Enough by Evanescence
This time last year, I was writing about losing the love of my life. I wondered if I'd ever be able to find someone, forgive myself for the horrible mistakes I'd made and allow myself to be happy again.
I was able to find someone, but that didn't mean that I allowed myself to be happy or that I'd forgiven myself.
I talked to John* a few times since we broke up and the last time we talked, he'd told me that he'd finally forgiven me and that allowed me to start forgiving myself.
But that didn't mean that I still had come to grips with the possibility that I could be happy, that I didn't have to be alone for the rest of my life to atone for my mistakes. I couldn't shake the feeling that this peace, this calm, simple and normal relationship was not permanent-- that it was only the proverbial calm before the storm and that I was going to pay dearly for these months of bliss.
I have finally accepted that I can indeed be happy. I'm finally allowing myself to be happy and I don't dread something awful happening at the start of every day. It's not a complete transformation yet, but it's getting there.

I live I ride I am

There is nothing like the feeling of the wind brushing your hair back the way all the supermodels do. There is an inherent bubbly feeling when you see all the guys and girls oogling you as you hold onto a man because that's the only thing you have to hold on to. There is something sexy about being able to wear a black leather jacket for more than just show. I love the feeling of the vibrations of the machine that I straddle. While not quite a Harley Davidson motorcycle, I have recently fallen in love with riding on the back of my boyfriend's scooter. All the cliches that accompany riding a motorcycle definitely apply here. The freedom, the wind in your hair, the romance of the Italian vespas right here in America, the speed- because 40 miles per hour does feel a heck of a lot faster al fresco- and yeah, holding onto the person you love for dear life is kind of sexy and dangerous. When he first got the scooter we went out for a little spin and a pit stop at Chik-Fil-A. These two girls were riding a scooter right next to us at one point and we were both stopped at a red light and they commented on how cute we looked and how one of them was just talking about how she wanted a boyfriend. I couldn't help but smile and hold him just a little tighter. Yep, a few cars have honked at us-or so we think. Since I'm a city girl, I'm used to people honking if the car in front of them does not move the very nanosecond the light turns green, so I tend to tune out honking. But Sam notices and he's convinced they are honking at me. One time we were driving down Frat Row and these frat guys were hanging out and one of them yelled down to us "Fuck her!" Gotta love the obnoxious, hormone driven frat guys.
I wish I had a picture of the two of us driving off into the sunset on the scooter to post along with this entry. But alas, I don't.

This is just BAAAAAD!!!!

In honor of Rebecca Black having the most disliked video on Youtube, I've decided to make a list of some truly horrible songs. Thank you to Sam and Josue for exposing me to these. They are just too much.

1) Attack Attack! Stick Stickly http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDzt6yI3Dw8
Try and make it through the whole video because the transition and the dance are just too much.

2) brokeNCYDE Freaxxx http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AV8N44HzfBQ
I can't get through this one. Bad hair, bad music, guys in pink, white guys rapping, bad quality video....and that's just what I gathered from the first two minutes of a 4 minute long song.

3) Complete Hoogie-Boogie Land http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukjnrXTTvPY
I didn't even bother watching the video because I was too busy writing this. But the few frames that I caught....Oh dear God. This is what happens when 40 year old red-necks have a midlife crisis, get together and form a band. Apparently, you can watch their whole set!

4) Torsofuck Raped by Elephants http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0zhXQdmnI0
This is upset stomach music. I call it screamo but Sam gets mad at me every time I do that because screamo is a genre and not every song that has upset stomach noises is screamo. Apparently to differentiate you have to listen to the instruments. I can't. The sounds offend my inner ear.

5) I won't torture you anymore! Hell, I'm not going to torture me anymore. I value my hearing too much and my poor little brain that has to process the sound waves coming from my poor abused speakers.

All of a sudden, Rebecca Black's song doesn't seem so bad anymore. It's all of a sudden catchy, innocent, and fun.

What is Art?

This question was first posed to me my senior year of high school in a class called "Theory of Knowledge". Surely, I'd heard that question before, but it was at that time that I was encouraged to really think about it.
I'm currently majoring in English and theatre and have worked in a number of productions and been an audience member since I was a child. I took a class in art history my spring semester of my freshman year of college as well. My mom has taken me to some of the most prominent art museums in New York and Washington D.C., I danced ballet for 13 years, I also took salsa, swing, hip-hop, and tap. I took piano lessons for 8 years. In short, I fancy myself 'cultured' and 'well-rounded' and a huge supporter of the arts.
It occurred to me today as I was in tech rehearsals for "The Madwoman of Challiot" what art is. Now, please note that this is my personal definition but discussion is welcomed wholeheartedly.
"Art is inspiration seized, molded, and presented in some tangible way."
Everybody has those flashes of ideas. That's inspiration. However, not everyone can recognize the potential of that idea, or they don't know how to express it, they don't have the time to develop it, or they don't have the motivation, etc. Now the person who does recognize the potential of the idea (let's call him/her 'the artist') and knows how to express it in some medium (paint, sculpture, writing, music, dance, theatre etc) has to be able to hold onto this flash and mold it to get at the essence of the idea. Imagine a movie that is trying to portray some theme but gets bogged down because of bad execution in whatever aspect. In much the same way, the artist has to make his art leave out all the unnecessary details, all the fluff that gets in the way of showing the idea. Writers spend countless hours laboring over just the right word.
Art has to be shared. It cannot be locked up and hidden from the world. For me, the wonderful thing about art is that anybody can experience it and have some kind of emotional reaction. It's such a communal and humanistic aspect of our lives. Indeed, I believe the production of art in any way, shape, or form is what separates us from all the other animal species in the world. It was Jules Verne who thought of air travel, submarines, and space travel before the technology had been invented. Artist dream of things for the human race to achieve- be it peace, submarines, equality, or a new perspective. There really is no limit to what the human mind can dream.

Thank you for reading my ramblings. I wish I had a picture to post along with this blog. If I find something, I'll post it. Please comment below and let me know your opinions.

I Won't Say It

Back in November, when I was in the middle of a huge writing dry spell, I decided that I was going to force myself to write something. I don't really like this poem too much because I don't think it's some of my best work. There's not a lot to explain about it. So without further ado...
November 22, 2010
I Won’t Say It
For you I would dedicate all the songs
About starting up a new love
But I don’t want to tell you just yet how I feel.
You make me smile again
You make me laugh again.
I’ve got that feeling again.
Even though I’m writing a song
I don’t want you to think of
Some crazy notion of sentimentality.
I think I’m falling for you.
There’s not use hiding.
But I’m not ready to admit
I’ve got it bad for you.